Nonviolent Communication

My conflict has been brewing for several weeks now with a colleague. This colleague is much older than myself and is very emotional. Not many people get along with her because she is what my office calls "messy." She says things to people that are often taken out of context. Maybe she means good by what she says but often times it is not taken that way. The majority of my co-workers ignore this lady or smart something ugly back off at her. A few weeks back this particular colleague began watching when I was in the office and when I was out. She started antagonizing me and making rude comments such as "Well, I see you did come to work today or You are off more than anyone person I have ever seen." Mind you that I rarely miss work unless it is something wrong with my children. I am the person that will go to work sick as a dog just to get sent back home. I heard comments such as these for weeks not only in my office but she would post things on Facebook. I finally had enough of her and really wanted to speak my mind to her but could not get the words out. I would smile and laugh and go on. Until she started posting these comments on my Facebook page. So, I comment back to her something like "I am not sure why you keep making jokes about me missing work." She laid off for a while then started back at it later. By this point I have had way past enough so I went to the directors and was told to ignore her and that would get to her more than anything. BUT it didn't! I finally had to be ugly and make ugly comments back to her. Was this a good idea? No, but at the time I was so fed up that I forgot about all conflict resolution skills and tactics. However, my strategies to deal with her now are to smile, speak my feelings in a calm manner and avoid any conflict as much as possible. Speaking my feelings is often hard for me but I have learned that in order to resolve conflict it is important to express my feelings.

Who am I as a communicator?

Was I surprised by the results of the quizzes?? I was really surprised on the verbal aggression quiz. My sister and husband took the quizzes for me and scored in the low range stating that I respected others views and didn't attack the person's intelligence or ideas. When I took that quiz on aggression I scored in the significant range. It stated that with little provocation that I may cross the line of argumentativeness and attack a person's position of statements and verbal aggressions that can be hurtful to the listener. I guess I was shocked at this result because I tend to avoid all conflict as much as possible and then I hold a lot of my opinions inside even when I get upset I try to "bottle" it all up inside, however, I guess that could be why I got the score of significant. The other surprise was that all three quizzes put me in the first category of listening. I wasn't too surprised by this for I feel that I tend to be a good listener and devote my attention to the person speaking. I feel that listening and communicating effectively are two traits that are really important within the professional world especially when it comes to dealing with children and their families. If a family feels that they can talk to us then we can form a bond with them and be able to talk with them and assist them when needed.

Communicating Culturally

When I thought about this blog I didn't think that I communicated differently with people of different cultures. The more I think about it and analyze the question, I see where I do communicate with those differently than myself in different ways. Growing up in the south it seems that everyone is the same but North and South Louisiana are as different as night and day from our accents down to our culture. I find myself having to play close attention to what south Louisianians say because their accents are thicker than mine. If I don't understand what is being said I have to ask in simple terms what is being said. I have also had to get familiar with the culture of south Louisiana more.  I have lived in North Louisiana for a few years but never had much to do with south Louisiana until I started working with some of my co-workers who are south Louisianians. I learned from the readings this week "don't expect just because you know a person's culture that you can predict his or her behaviors." (Gonzalez, 2). I have learned that each person is different and the differences within our cultures makes us unique.

The three strategies that can help me communicate effectively:

1. Realize that each person is different. I believe that this is important because it will help make for a better understanding of each other. The differences that we each portray is what makes us unique.
2. Have an open mind. This is important because many times people from different cultures may or may  not share the same ideas or believes that we share and therefore by having an open mind we can see where they are coming from and hopefully they can see our views.
3. A great listener. When we listen and pick up on the verbal as well the nonverbal cues then we can become effective communicators with all people.

reference:
Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

Verbal and Nonverbal communication

For this blog I decided to watch the show George Lopez. As I watched the show the daughter and son came in and out,  the grandmother seemed like the one that the George and his wife got disgusted with. Grandmother was sitting at the kitchen table and George and his wife were in the standing in the kitchen. They seemed to be discussing family issues or maybe what was for dinner that night. By George's body language is why I assumed that the grandmother may be a problem. It seemed that the wife was just nodding and going along with what George may have been saying.

As I turned the sound on and watched the episode I learned that my assumptions of the nonverbal cues were not completely correct. George and his wife were discussing with the grandmother, who is George's mother about discipling the son. Apparently the son had done something that the grandmother didn't like so she disciplined him a little too hard. George and the wife were outraged. They continued to discuss the problem at hand and grandmother seemed to have an answer for each thing said.

Nonverbal cues are at times often misinterupted and effects the messaged trying to be communicated. In this episode grandmother seemed to feel that she was being attacked and thus tuned out what was trying to be said. Nonverbal and verbal cues tell a lot about a person and what they are trying to say.

Effective Communication

When I think of communication I think of how we use different techniques to express ourselves. Communication can be verbally, non verbal, signs, or written. When I thought of a person that was an effective communicator that I would like to be like, I thought of a lady that I work with, Mrs. Pat. She is a very warm person that is easy to talk to. She in non judging, always has a listening ear, a word of encouragement and helpful hand when needed. When I talk with her I feel that she is truly listening because she is making eye contact, nodding, and giving in put where needed. She is a someone that I strive to be like because many times I tend to get  lost in my own thoughts when some people talk to me that I loose thought on what that person has told me. Mrs. Pat listens and has a heart for people. As I work toward my career in Early Childhood I hope to be as half of the the communicator that Mrs. Pat is so that I can make my families and children feel as she has made me feel.