Gender Identity

Some of the ways you noticed that homophobia and heterosexism permeate the world of young children including books, movies, toys, stores, culture of early childhood centers, and schools. 


I have noticed many ways that homophobia and hererosexism permeate the world of young children. It is like a known "rule" that in our society girls will be frilly, play with barbies and dolls, and be the domestic "goddess" of the household. Boys are the rough and tough ones who dig in the dirt, play with trucks, do the manly duties of the house, and their appearance is clean cut looks. I have noticed in some childhood centers that some promote boys and girls playing with all toys and not so much stereotyping and I have been in some places where it was clear that boys played with trucks and girls played dress up or with dolls. I grew up in a family that had the same stereotypes and now that I am grown I still think about these same stereotypes as I raise my own children. I catch myself at times saying to my son "Oh that is your sister's toy...boys do not play with that." I then have to revamp my thinking in order to prevent stereotyping. " Young children’s developing sense of personal identity is structured by their social, Cultural, and political context." Parents and teachers can provide awareness to stereotypes and gender identity throughout play groups and class settings. 

If you have ever used or heard homophobic terms such as "fag," "gay," "homo," "sissy," "tom boy," or "lesbo" as an insult by a child toward another child? Or, by an adult toward a child? Describe what occurred. How might these types of comments influence all children? (Note: if you have not had a personal experience, ask a family member, friend, or colleague).   My husband's nephew is a pre-teen that has grown up with just his mother. He has always been around women since his father was out of the picture from the beginning. They moved to a new town and had to adjust to a new way of life. The boy was not very athletic and has poor social skills when it comes to making friends. He took a home economics class while all the other boys in his class where playing sports or other "boy" activities. I remember hearing his mother say that he was picked on because of the class. He was called a "fag" for taking the class and some of these pre-teen boys were saying things that I NEVER thought children could come up with. It was graphic things....My husband's nephew acted as if the comments didn't bother him. He said he just didn't like being at that school. He continued out the school year and then came back home so he could go to a school that he was use to. Comments such as fag, homo. or whatever else comes to mind can really leave scares on a child. It warps their self esteem and often times leaves them feeling as if they are not good enough or do not belong in a group for one reason or another. 


Resources:
Developing Positive Identities, pp. 17–25

Nearing the end of this journey

These past eight weeks have been good. I have learned a great deal on communication and the proper ways of dealing with different communication scenarios. Thanks again to each of my classmates and to the professor for making this a great class. I look forward to nearing the end of the journey and going on to apply what I have learned in my day to day interactions. I wish each of you the very best!

Team building and Collaboration

Over the past year or two I have worked in many different groups in working towards my masters. In the beginning I hated the group work because majority of the group didn't put forth much effort and the trust was not there. As time went on and I continued toward my degree, I begin to work closer with a select few group members due to being in each class together. As far as saying good byes or building relationships with group members outside of the classroom, I have actually gotten to know two previous classmates outside the classroom. I believe at times it is hard getting to know classmates outside the classroom due to it being an online sector. Here lately the groups have ended with well wished and good byes. It seems that each are thankful to see another class down and one step closer to the finish line. It would be nice to get to build relationships with classmates on the outside of class because many of the classmates have valuable information that I find interesting since I am coming into the field without any experience that most of my classmates have. I truly enjoy working along side my group members and learning from their advice, and experience. For this I believe that is what makes some group hard to leave. The trust is built and things run smoothly within the group. However, I have also had my share of groups where it was chaos and I couldn't wait for the semester to end. The forming stage had been bypassed and things headed for disaster from that point on. When working in groups I believe that the forming stage is so important!

Nonviolent Communication

My conflict has been brewing for several weeks now with a colleague. This colleague is much older than myself and is very emotional. Not many people get along with her because she is what my office calls "messy." She says things to people that are often taken out of context. Maybe she means good by what she says but often times it is not taken that way. The majority of my co-workers ignore this lady or smart something ugly back off at her. A few weeks back this particular colleague began watching when I was in the office and when I was out. She started antagonizing me and making rude comments such as "Well, I see you did come to work today or You are off more than anyone person I have ever seen." Mind you that I rarely miss work unless it is something wrong with my children. I am the person that will go to work sick as a dog just to get sent back home. I heard comments such as these for weeks not only in my office but she would post things on Facebook. I finally had enough of her and really wanted to speak my mind to her but could not get the words out. I would smile and laugh and go on. Until she started posting these comments on my Facebook page. So, I comment back to her something like "I am not sure why you keep making jokes about me missing work." She laid off for a while then started back at it later. By this point I have had way past enough so I went to the directors and was told to ignore her and that would get to her more than anything. BUT it didn't! I finally had to be ugly and make ugly comments back to her. Was this a good idea? No, but at the time I was so fed up that I forgot about all conflict resolution skills and tactics. However, my strategies to deal with her now are to smile, speak my feelings in a calm manner and avoid any conflict as much as possible. Speaking my feelings is often hard for me but I have learned that in order to resolve conflict it is important to express my feelings.

Who am I as a communicator?

Was I surprised by the results of the quizzes?? I was really surprised on the verbal aggression quiz. My sister and husband took the quizzes for me and scored in the low range stating that I respected others views and didn't attack the person's intelligence or ideas. When I took that quiz on aggression I scored in the significant range. It stated that with little provocation that I may cross the line of argumentativeness and attack a person's position of statements and verbal aggressions that can be hurtful to the listener. I guess I was shocked at this result because I tend to avoid all conflict as much as possible and then I hold a lot of my opinions inside even when I get upset I try to "bottle" it all up inside, however, I guess that could be why I got the score of significant. The other surprise was that all three quizzes put me in the first category of listening. I wasn't too surprised by this for I feel that I tend to be a good listener and devote my attention to the person speaking. I feel that listening and communicating effectively are two traits that are really important within the professional world especially when it comes to dealing with children and their families. If a family feels that they can talk to us then we can form a bond with them and be able to talk with them and assist them when needed.

Communicating Culturally

When I thought about this blog I didn't think that I communicated differently with people of different cultures. The more I think about it and analyze the question, I see where I do communicate with those differently than myself in different ways. Growing up in the south it seems that everyone is the same but North and South Louisiana are as different as night and day from our accents down to our culture. I find myself having to play close attention to what south Louisianians say because their accents are thicker than mine. If I don't understand what is being said I have to ask in simple terms what is being said. I have also had to get familiar with the culture of south Louisiana more.  I have lived in North Louisiana for a few years but never had much to do with south Louisiana until I started working with some of my co-workers who are south Louisianians. I learned from the readings this week "don't expect just because you know a person's culture that you can predict his or her behaviors." (Gonzalez, 2). I have learned that each person is different and the differences within our cultures makes us unique.

The three strategies that can help me communicate effectively:

1. Realize that each person is different. I believe that this is important because it will help make for a better understanding of each other. The differences that we each portray is what makes us unique.
2. Have an open mind. This is important because many times people from different cultures may or may  not share the same ideas or believes that we share and therefore by having an open mind we can see where they are coming from and hopefully they can see our views.
3. A great listener. When we listen and pick up on the verbal as well the nonverbal cues then we can become effective communicators with all people.

reference:
Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

Verbal and Nonverbal communication

For this blog I decided to watch the show George Lopez. As I watched the show the daughter and son came in and out,  the grandmother seemed like the one that the George and his wife got disgusted with. Grandmother was sitting at the kitchen table and George and his wife were in the standing in the kitchen. They seemed to be discussing family issues or maybe what was for dinner that night. By George's body language is why I assumed that the grandmother may be a problem. It seemed that the wife was just nodding and going along with what George may have been saying.

As I turned the sound on and watched the episode I learned that my assumptions of the nonverbal cues were not completely correct. George and his wife were discussing with the grandmother, who is George's mother about discipling the son. Apparently the son had done something that the grandmother didn't like so she disciplined him a little too hard. George and the wife were outraged. They continued to discuss the problem at hand and grandmother seemed to have an answer for each thing said.

Nonverbal cues are at times often misinterupted and effects the messaged trying to be communicated. In this episode grandmother seemed to feel that she was being attacked and thus tuned out what was trying to be said. Nonverbal and verbal cues tell a lot about a person and what they are trying to say.